Therapy Story: “I feel so behind compared to other people.”

by Beverly Liang, LMSW

A variant on “I should have done this by now,” this statement reminds me of Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Behind this statement is the concept that specific life stages are tied to specific accomplishments, and that one cannot progress beyond a certain stage unless a task or milestone has been accomplished.

This has been further complicated by the pandemic, as detailed by New York’s recent article “The Pandemic Skip,” on feeling a sense of grief of what could have been and grappling with where we stand in relation to time in the last four years that have passed. Suddenly everyone else seems to have progressed — at hyperspeed– into their new lives, while we might feel adrift, behind, or not sure of where we want to go.

One’s identities can complicate this further when we hold certain expectations that might be tied to culture, religion, and gender. These expectations can further oppress us when we feel we need to conform to the dominant narratives of others, instead of developing our own stories, and discounting our own experiences. 

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Blog Series: Talk Therapy When You’re Stuck at Home (Part 1)

Image courtesy of @danielbarretoes

In these strange pandemic times, it feels like things are changing every moment and strangely, at the same time, things seem to never change!  We simply have to roll with it all. This means embracing unfamiliarity for the sake of safety, and talk therapy is no exception. As a result of the need for social distancing, face-to-face counseling is now digital and remote.

Over the next several weeks, we’ll be putting out a series of posts that will outline the full teletherapy experience - what it is, what it isn’t, and how it can benefit you (particularly during the pandemic).

To begin this series, let’s first talk about what teletherapy is, who can use it, and why we’re talking about it.

What is teletherapy?

Teletherapy is a term that refers to counseling services that are provided via the internet or phone. It means you use a computer or phone to have meetings and speak with a therapist--you being in one place (e.g., your home) and your therapist another. You may have only recently begun to hear about this practice due to COVID-19, but it has existed since the 1990’s. We’ll get into much more detail about what the remote therapy process entails in upcoming posts.

Who uses teletherapy?

In the past, the teletherapy option has been aimed at particular demographics such as people who have limited access to services, lack of transportation, or mobility issues. More recently, in response to the necessary transition to remote services due to coronavirus, teletherapy has demonstrated that it can be used by virtually anyone. Most insurance providers will cover telehealth visits. In light of the pandemic health crisis, insurance companies have temporarily modified certain policies to make it easier and more affordable to receive telehealth services. It is always a good idea to call and double check with your plan.

Why might you use teletherapy?

You may have noticed how online / telephone therapy has become an unusually hot topic due to the public health crisis. The uptick makes sense as the quarantine has forced many in-person services to shut down, or be delivered remotely when possible. What this means for you is that if you were previously in therapy, it doesn’t have to end. You now have the option to transition to teletherapy. Similarly, whether you’ve simply been wanting to try therapy for a while, or the pandemic situation has caused extra stress, teletherapy is a convenient outlet for immediate emotional support.

Have you done therapy using video or phone? What did you think of it? Share your story below.

Keep a lookout for our next post in which we’ll outline practical ways to help you prepare for teletherapy sessions.