Adam Joncich, Ph. D.
Regardless of what side you are on, what is happening between Israel and Hamas is universally disturbing and will continue to represent a frightening and threatening conflict that looms in our world today. Perhaps subtly striking about the previous sentence is the assumption that you must fall on one side or the other. The purpose of this post is to describe the potential impacts of losing contact with your internal experience, that is, your own story, when in the presence of loud, consistent and presumptive messages that “make you choose.”
The idea that a person believes either one thing or another, is on one side or another, and generally exists on one end of a two-ended polar continuum is not new. There are entire philosophies that espouse that people respond naturally to making decisions between two opposite alternatives. In fact, it does not take long to come up with popular opposites that we are inundated with: good or evil, beautiful or ugly, rich or poor, black or white, gay or straight, man or woman, republican or democrat, friend or enemy, us or them name just a few dialectics that keep us from experiencing nuance in our perceptions.
The world is an increasingly complicated, global and multidimensional place and we all have to find our place in it. The stories that surround us–in the media, in our families, in our cultures and aligning us with our identities can become so prominent as told by others that we may come to lose contact with what are our thoughts and feelings–our own story. Indeed in the throes of the current conflict in Israel and Gaza, the responses I have witnessed people everywhere are not only feelings associated with the horrors of what is happening–fear, anger, sadness. They are feelings of paralysis and confusion about how to have a nuanced and informed, personal stance–and this represents a disconnection from their story. Disconnection from your own story exacerbates the very normal fear, anger and sadness, with additional depressed mood, anxiety, and a general self-isolation.
I invite you, one and all, to use therapy to protect yourself. I invite you to allow yourself presence with how you feel and to insulate yourself from depression and anxiety. Use therapy to help you make space to tell your story, especially through a loud and scary time like the one we are in now. Use therapy to protect stillness that allows you to sift through the fear, anger, sadness and “sidedness” that is endemic to all of the messaging you receive– to locate your story, your needs, and the actions you need to take to connect, ground and care for yourself.