The Joy and Pain of Holidays
What do you typically associate with holiday time? These are some classic holiday highlights:
Traveling homeward
Spending time at home
Being together with family
Breaking up the everyday routine
Eating and drinking
Exchanging gifts
Those very same things that some people love about the holidays are triggers for others. Let’s look at that list again, but from an alternative perspective.
Navigating crowded, long journeys by plane/train/automobile
Being stuck inside for days and getting cabin fever
Having to interact with challenging relatives and speak about uncomfortable, personal topics (e.g. lifestyle, politics)
Being thrown off the usual schedule (e.g. exercise regimen, wake/sleep hours)
Being constantly tempted to overindulge / dealing with relatives who may or may not be able to drink alcohol responsibly
Feeling pressured to overspend on presents in order to please others
It’s important to understand that the holidays can be a particularly difficult time. According to an American Psychological Association survey in 2017, 38% of individuals reported their stress level increased during the holiday season. Participants listed the top stressors: lack of time, lack of money, commercialism, the pressures of gift-giving, and family gatherings.
With this in mind, how can we protect ourselves, and survive - perhaps even enjoy - the winter festivities?
4 Tips for Coping with Holiday Stress
Cultivate patience - It’s inevitable that some aspect of the holidays will test your nerves. Whether it’s an endless airport line or an uncle who launches into a tirade about the midterm elections, try to breathe and stay grounded. This is a perfect opportunity to practice staying calm. Remember that you’ll - likely - only be in this situation a few times a year. Do whatever helps you get through the trying moments - use humor, take a break to observe rather than participate, but most of all breathe and remember that this too shall pass.
Take space - Togetherness is a lovely thing, but it can be exhausting and stifling. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed or worked up being around people, carve out a few moments for yourself. Subtly disappear for a few minutes in a quiet room (bathrooms are fantastic retreats) or take a quick walk outside. Constantly socializing and being “on” can be surprisingly draining. Taking some solo time, even if it’s brief, is a great method to reset.
Maintain boundaries - Bringing people with diverse personalities and varying opinions into close quarters can be tricky. Ever been sitting next to a relative you barely know (or know all too well) when they start to question your life choices, lecture you about politics, or have one too many drinks and start getting rowdy? These common holiday nightmare scenarios are recipes for making people feel anxious, defensive, and trapped. To combat them, remember that you still have control over these interactions. It’s more than acceptable to say, “Hey, I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this anymore right now.” If that still doesn’t get your point across, there’s nothing wrong with literally stepping away for a while. Drawing boundaries is a key part of holiday self-care. [Pro tip: If you’re currently seeing a therapist, it’s never a bad idea to schedule an appointment right after the holiday so you’ll have an opportunity to process it].
Be moderate - Whether it’s deciding not to have seconds of all 20 pies on the table, or placing a dollar limit on gifts, it’s important to employ moderation. The holidays are often a display of excess and overabundance. It can be hard to control yourself around heaps of food and alcohol, whether that translates to restriction or overindulgence. Sometimes there is pressure to empty your wallet on material items to prove your generosity and love to others. There’s no need be extreme in any of these respects. Set realistic, healthy expectations for yourself.
The Takeaway
At their core, holidays are about feeling comforted, relaxed, loved, and minimally stressed. Try to keep focused on what’s truly important about the upcoming festivities, exercise self-care, and enjoy what you can of the next few months. Everyone experiences the holidays differently, so around this time of year, please remember to be kind / check in with people you care about, including yourself.