Written by Dr. Stephanie Unwin-Kuruneri,
a Psychologist and clinical supervisor in Manhattan, NY
[Click here to read more about her]
It was a long, strange, and scary year
We are quickly approaching the anniversary of COVID 19 in the US and its lasting impact on the American psyche. #themoment is trending. Naturally, a lot of feelings are coming up. Anniversaries are typically a time for reflection, and this is no different. Where were you this time last year? What were your dreams or plans for 2020? What did you have to give up? A lot? A little? Most of it? All of it?
It has been a full year of seasons, missed graduations, drive by birthdays, canceled trips, Zoom calls and masks. Digesting this reality can feel overwhelming, or even retraumatizing to some. However, it is helpful to mourn what was lost.
As cases decline, vaccine distribution continues, and the snow begins to melt, the reconstruction of community is on the horizon. While exciting as a return to some form of normality can be, this can be anxiety provoking for many, since we all have our own unique pandemic experience. Some of us have lost loved ones, some have not. Some have escaped sickness and others may still be recovering. Some of us have had a bubble, some have had no one. Maybe you have not been on public transportation or aren’t yet comfortable in stores and still have your groceries delivered. As we attempt to reconnect to each other, to repatriate our lives, it will be helpful to remember that there are myriad stories.
What was your story?
Acknowledging your personal experience over the course of the past year can ease the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty that will surely mark this transition period. What was your story? Perhaps you want to share this with trusted friends or maybe you want to journal it just for yourself. While we think about how to move forward, it is important to consider your personal journey. There was been no blueprint for how to manage life during the pandemic and there isn’t one for how to integrate back into the world. You may want to start slow or dive right in. But it’s important to remember that we are the author of our own stories. Each person has their own threshold for safety and risk. For many of us it has been a balancing act as things have relaxed, restricted, and relaxed again. Exploring and identifying your comfort level with different activities will better help you communicate them to the people in your life (friends, family, your boss).
What did you gain? What did you lose?
Transitioning is important and it starts with you.
As with any transition, there is something to be gained and something that will be lost. This does not mean a net-loss by any means, rather more of a shift from one state of being to another. “What did you gain or lose this past year?” is as valid a question as “What do you anticipate gaining and losing as you move forward?” We may gain more social interaction and connection and yet lose a certain predictability that may have been comforting. There will be a period of adjustment and therefore, we need to give ourselves grace as we adjust.
It starts with you. As the anniversary approaches, try to check in with yourself and how you are thinking about it. Acknowledging regret, loss, jubilation (you made it a year!) are all valid ways to feel, and not just one, you may feel all of them. It will be this, recognizing the impact that pandemic has had on your well being, that will help you more consciously transition back into the world. Happy anniversary!